Wow is all I can say right now. I apologize for neglecting my Blog and posts for those that read them (I'm almost positive it's probably only one or two people anyways - lol).
So much has happened since I last made an attempt at my Blog and writing. I had subconsciously given up on writing. This was due to a couple of different things in my life. First, I received some more negative reviews of my first novel. I get it - it's not the greatest. I get that I should've spent more time revising the book. But, I really wanted to get it published so that I could say "I published a book." I think it's the same issue I had with teaching. I got teaching jobs just so that I could say "I'm a teacher." I never took the time to focus my passion. As a result, I left the teaching profession feeling that I was worthless and an incompetent teacher even though I had students, parents, and colleagues state otherwise. This is my Achilles heel so to speak. I've been such a perfectionist that when something doesn't go the way my mind planned it, I tend to give up or walk away.
I guess that's the issue I have faced these past few years. This could be the reason why I haven't been able to get back into teaching. Believe me, I love teaching. But maybe when I go on the interviews the interviewer sees my doubts about myself without me actually saying anything about it. This, again, holds true for writing. I have felt so overwhelmed with the negative comments about my first work that I have been reluctant to write something new or revise the current projects. I'm afraid of the rejection.
NaNoWriMo 2017 started off great like it always does. I've been writing each day and the stories are just flowing from my mind. I have some excitement again and it really makes it special when I sit down at my computer to write.
The other day I came to a realization. My favorite teacher from high school always said that "If you want to do something, you need to immerse yourself in it as well as surround yourself with people who have the same interests/goals." I realized that the only reason why I have done well with my other passion (competitive car audio) is because I surrounded myself with others that have more experience and knowledge. This got me thinking that I do have the skills for writing that God provided to me, but I need to plant those seeds in order to get better.
I have decided that I want to try becoming an author again. I have dedicated myself to get better. I already took some steps by getting involved with a local writers group as well as purchasing some books on writing that will help me. I am also going to continue to work on my writing in the hopes that the next novels will exceed the first.
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