Today was a good day. Instead of going into work at the tool shop to do engineering, I had my weekly tutor day. On these days, I get the opportunity to work with two really amazing students. The first student is in middle school and has Autism. The second student is a junior in high school and has specific learning disabilities in reading and math. Both students are different, but they both amaze me each time I get to work with them.
On the way home from tutoring, I was emotional again. I miss being in a classroom working with students. Each day now for the past three years, I feel as though my opportunity to be back in education is slipping away from me. The number of interviews I got this year was significantly less than previous years. I'm afraid that this trend will only get worse.
My wife and I talked about moving again. We have this conversation every year, and every year I come up with an excuse not to apply for teaching or principal positions outside of our area. For me, it all comes down to fear. I have a fear that if we move I might not make it in the classroom as a teacher. I've struggled in past positions. In addition, I also have a hair trigger when it comes to things going right or wrong. What will happen if I get into a position and then hate it because of the school or administration? Will I have to put my family through another move? What if I do not do well? Will I have a job at the end of the year?
I just wish that I had a clear answer on what to do. I love working with students and the daily absence of this makes me sad. Sure, I have tutoring and my writing, but it doesn't feel like it's enough. It doesn't feel like I'm making that much of a difference - which is why I got into education in the first place.
Anyways, I hope you had an amazing day!
Peace
